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 Marriage Builders Discussion Forums
 Infidelity
 Changing the images! (Page 2)
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| This topic is 4 pages long: 1 2 3 4 This topic was originally posted in this forum: Read-Only Posts |
| Author | Topic: Changing the images! |
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wasstubborn Member |
posted May 27, 1999 10:21 AM
cl I'm so glad you are enjoying this. It's the most fun I've had in months!!!! I've been quiet for a few days because I've been working on a lot! Maybe those zoloft are kicking in? BTW Great news! My H finally told me something negative about the OW. He said she is SELFISH just like I said. This is a major step forward since he avoids saying anything about her. |
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prism Junior Member |
posted May 27, 1999 10:23 AM
I've got one better. The night of the episode of H and OW, later, he was in my bed with me. And the next night when we were out in the hot tub, she got out first. And he was in my bed that night too, while she stayed on the couch by herself.(she's my sister-in-law and stayed the weekend). And she knows he told me all her "secrets" within a week, which really upset her"well, isn't that nice" were her exact words. And she knows we went down to St. Martin for two weeks, no kids, two weeks later. My other sister-in-law, who knows nothing about this sent an e-mail to them innocently saying how tanned and relaxed we looked when we got back.HAHA, that's icing. You're right, this definately puts a smile on my face. |
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wasstubborn Member |
posted May 27, 1999 10:26 AM
prism I love the stories and the smiles. Keep it up. I have to go plant my garden now before it rains. Keep enjoying this everybody - I'm going to spend the whole day doing it. SUCH THERAPY!!!!! |
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Animac Member |
posted May 27, 1999 10:30 AM
Thanks, WS! When my H wanted to bring a photo of the baby to put on his desk at work, it bothered me. I didn't want her to have anything to do with my kids -- even to see a photo of them! You've helped me see it in a different light (especially now that he's broken it off). I think I'll find an especially good picture of our beautiful children and have it blown up for his office today. (Of course, I'd rather I was in the picture too, but that might be pushing it too far just yet). |
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wasstubborn Member |
posted May 27, 1999 10:33 AM
Animac You're doing great!!! I'm so happy for you. Use that mind, don't let it use you. I REALLY have to go plant my garden now!!! |
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Monique Member |
posted May 27, 1999 10:34 AM
I gave my husband a picture fam that has a little saying on it about how important family is and I filled it with pictures of our children and myself. Maybe he will look at it and think of us. |
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The Better Half Member |
posted May 27, 1999 10:46 AM
WS, you are great! I've been feeling low lately, and this thread really helped! Now, instead of the terrible images, I'm trying to imagine H thinking of me & wanting to be with me while he was with OW. Also, I know I'm more attractive than she is. She asked H what I look like...he told her I look like Grace from the TV show Will & Grace (not true, but OW doesn't know that!  )Also, H says she's "big boned" and very tall. Don't know if this is true, but it's much better to imagine H with an ugly amazon woman than a runway model! All the best everyone! |
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HJF Member |
posted May 27, 1999 11:09 AM
What a great topic!! I love it!!  I have lots of those mental images! I don't know exactly what day H and OW did their 'thing', but I DO know that every day when he came home from work he gave me a hug and a big kiss....when I think of this, I can almost see her insides churning...watching us together, seeing how happy he was to come home to me. AND...watching us walk hand in hand to our bedroom every night while she slept out here ALONE! haha! And I know she heard us back there (y'all know what I mean! Thanks WS...what a great idea! If y'all haven't read my post from last night, please read it...H and I are making progress, despite my horrible day yesterday! |
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joanie Member |
posted May 27, 1999 11:20 AM
WS...thank you soooo much!!! This is so what I needed today. I've been trying this to some extent, but not enough. Every night when H and I climb into bed and make love I think "She never did and never will know this". When H holds our daughter I remind myself that she will never know that with him either. I'm going to try to imagine her lonely, alone and miserable. ------------------ |
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wasstubborn Member |
posted May 27, 1999 11:40 AM
TBH & HJF I know those images are especially hard at the beginning so I'm glad this helps you. Joanie My latest image from the garden: |
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HJF Member |
posted May 27, 1999 12:01 PM
Just thought of another one... I can just see her on that bus back to Missouri on May 1st. Three screaming kids for a 14 hour bus ride, and nothing but time for her to think about what she had done. I hope the guilt ate her up! Oh!! And another one. The day she called here looking for a phone number, I just hung up on her...no nasty words, just a click. At that moment she had to have known that I knew...and I can see her sitting there stewing about it! P*ssed off that H told me, when she was so sure he wouldn't. And knowing that she lost a 14 year friendship. And now I can sit here and think "Take THAT!" |
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EverAfter Member |
posted May 27, 1999 07:08 PM
WS, I love this. You know we give the OP much to much power over us. She had just a few moments of time with my H. She doesn't know that during the whole thing he was making love to me usually twice a day. Of course, he wouldn't share that with her would he! Sis: I have big breasts! I go braless. OK, so they sag a little. LoneStar: You are soooo funny. [This message has been edited by EverAfter (edited May 27, 1999).] |
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wasstubborn Member |
posted May 27, 1999 07:22 PM
Everafter I'm so glad everybody is getting something out of this. I was a little hesitant to post it because when I started doing the exercise it seemed so obvious that I thought Maybe I was the only one that hadn't caught on!! Thanks so much for the compliment too. Gave me a little happy tear. |
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Dawn D Member |
posted May 28, 1999 02:12 PM
WS & all, I hope you don't mind, seeing as how I come from the other side of the fence so to speak.... but I have read this, and think I can help me too. I am imaging my "friend" being coniving and jealous of what my H & I have. Being a 'thief' for trying to steal what is not his. I realize that I was "blind" to it for a while, but I did wake up. This really helps me in regards to the e-mail he keeps trying to send me. I hope you don't mind that I am using your idea as well. Thanks for posting it. Dawn |
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wasstubborn Member |
posted May 28, 1999 02:16 PM
Dawn I'm very glad you used this. My point was that we all need to use our minds to defeat our own demons, no matter what side of the fence we are on. We are all trying to recover and I really think that we are all on the same side!!! |
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She too is miserable in her marriage and won't let her H touch her. She has no friends and everyone at church knows WHAT SHE IS!!! Though I don't really think she has remorse or shame. Don't forget WS that not only do you have brains, you have a heart - something she is totally lacking, you are warm and compassionate - not cold and conniving.