posted August 09, 1999 04:08 PM         

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Female, 47 yrs old

Betrayed

Married 21 yrs this week

H developed a "friendship" with a co worke 17 yrs younger than him last summer. He claims it wasn't physical and also had nothing to do with his feelings of being trapped and wanting out.

He refused to do any serious work on the marriage and we have been seprated since Dec.

He was recently seen going into her apt.

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posted August 09, 1999 04:16 PM         

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Age 43
Female
Betrayed although I betrayed him 4 years ago with a 1 month emotional affair
Married 22 years

Affair for H started 2 years ago and I found out 6 months later. Having been fighting for my marriage ever since with him moving back and forth 4 times and trying to end it with her at least 10 times and not suceeding. Claims to love and want to spend the rest of his life with me, but sanity and patience are going. Off to Arizona for 1 week today to clear my head.

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Lilly

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posted August 09, 1999 04:17 PM         

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Female (don't let the name fool you!) ;-)
Age 29
Be-trayed-him
Married for almost 7 years
Rocky marriage, careers got in the way...started an emotional affair with my best guy friend over a year ago, that eventually led to a full blown love affair. Currently working with H to repair.

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posted August 09, 1999 04:26 PM           

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Female
36 yrs old
married 14 years
H has been having emotional affair for 18 months. He has now moved out and has been gone for 3 weeks, OW is still in picture but I feel we are making some progress
2 children (8&10)
I love him very much and will continue to fight for our marriage.

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posted August 09, 1999 04:29 PM         

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Female
Age:33
Betrayed
Married 12 yrs

Husband had a one year affair with one of my best friends. She moved, he then told me. This was 7 wks ago. He still doesn't say that he loves me but everything else is going pretty well. Withdrawal symptoms faiding.

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posted August 09, 1999 04:34 PM         

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-male
-36
-married 13+ years
-betrayed (8 known times)
-two sons (12 & 10)
-first affair began with old friend nearly 6 years ago over the phone that became physical when she went home for the summer and ended almost 2 years after it began, second affair occurred while she was still having the first, don't remember the details of the others until the last one with what she claims to be a friend
-in all cases I found out about the affairs because of her behavior and tone of voice when she would talk to OM on phone

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God Bless,
Rob

[This message has been edited by professorg (edited August 09, 1999).]

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posted August 09, 1999 04:44 PM         

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Female
39 years old
Betrayed
Married 14 years
Two children, ages 6 and 1

Husband became withdrawn, angry and emotionally abusive right after our baby girl was born in July 98. Refused to help with baby, wouldn't let me bring the baby into his office, refused to go on vacation with us, disappeared every night and every Saturday. Got fed-up and tossed him out of the house in September '98. Found out (for sure) about affair in December. Entered Plan B in January. Husband had no contact with baby for five months and saw 6 yo son (who he had adored) only twice a month with no in-between phone calls. Husband became depressed and gained extreme amount of weight. Left Plan B around June 1. Husband will not communicate about the affair. I know virtually nothing about the OW but believe it is still going on. Husband met with Steve Harley in June and said he wanted to work things out. The actions haven't supported the words.

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posted August 09, 1999 04:59 PM         

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Female
41
betrayed
married 20 years, together 23
OW was co-worker that he "feel in love with". He wanted to end our marriage then, but now wants to save it.
Not his first,.
Legally separated (state requirement before the big "d"), but in the same household
I found out when they drove up the drive way in April.
Ended: well, maybe in May, but who knows the truth, not I.

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posted August 09, 1999 05:37 PM         

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Male
36 -- 37 next month
betrayed
married 4-1/2 years when she left. Almost 5yrs when physical affair happend, 5-1/4 years when internet affairs happened.

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posted August 09, 1999 05:50 PM         

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Female
Age 30
Betrayed
Married 10 years
3 children
Affair started in Jan '99 found out in March '99 and it ended in July '99. H had affair with co-worker at his new job in new state, said he loved her at first, but has now come to realize he did not and he was just very depressed.

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posted August 09, 1999 06:03 PM         

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Female
betrayed
45 yrs old (his second wife)
married 12 yrs
have 11 yr old daughter together.
h 52 yrs old
(1rst wife, had son, now 26 yrs old, which was also a 12 yr marriage).
h left me nov 98, thanks giving day!!
h met up with old high school female freind, last june, 98, who is still married, (we all became freinds and went out as couples, a few times) but OW is unhappy w/marriage also, so in time, they (I guess) plan on being together, for their retirment yrs. OW is 52 yrs old, also. (nick name, perdue!)
OW has two grown kids, one engaged daughter, getting married in june of 2000. probably waiting until then, to leave.

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posted August 09, 1999 06:18 PM         

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Male
-Age 40
-Betrayed
-Married 17 years
-4 kids: (13, 10, 8, 5)
-Married 16 years when W fell for OM. Found out 3 months after it started, it continued for another 4 months. I neglected her for quite sometime prior to this. W is currently in w/d and we are struggling to rebuild. W still very emotionally distant.

[This message has been edited by Sir Hurts Alot (edited August 10, 1999).]

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posted August 09, 1999 06:21 PM         

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Female
betrayed
28 years old
married 8 1/2 years when H had affair with 18 year old he met over the internet
was 7 months pregnant with second child
Questioning whether to stay or not

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posted August 09, 1999 06:31 PM         

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Female
28 years old
betrayer
married 4 1/2 years when I had physical affair (only slept with OM once)
married just over 5 years when had internet affairs (lasted about a month)
One daughter 6 years old now
H found out about internet affair before physical affair.

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posted August 09, 1999 06:33 PM         

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Female
Age 33
Together 12 years, married 7.
5 year old and 4 month old.
Betrayed.
H affair w/ coworker started on a business trip in Dec 98 when I was 6 months pregnant. I figured it out 1 month later due to angry, hostile, distant behavior and lots of clues. H moved out in Jan 99. Baby was born in March 99. In May 99 he ended it w/ OW and said he wanted to 'see' if we could work things out, but with no commitment (or effort) on his part. He sees her every day at work. For awhile things seemed to be getting better. Then in July he suddenly took a trip to 'get some space' and came home and said he wants a divorce. More mixed messages after that, but I'm done with plan A. Unless he makes a radical change with some serious commitment and effort, we will get divorced.

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