posted September 15, 1999 09:55 AM         

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Kellie
Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

posted September 15, 1999 01:10 PM         

In response to being told how disrespectful & hurtful he had been to me, having stared so hard at a blond pumping gas into a red mustang, that he had to actually suck his breath in, then looking back as we pulled away so he could get her license plate number:

"Stop your damned insecurity! I wasn't starring at anyone." Then: "Just shut the
blank up."

Or, after my objection to his taking a snapshot from above downward into a co-worker's rather large cleavage and pinning it up on his bulletin board with the other co-workers who were fully clothed:

"I'm fed-up with your blanking insecurity.
Just get out of here and leave me alone."

Or, after actually seeing him cheating with another woman, and learning from his brother that he hadn't left the boat until 4:00AM in the morning:

"That wasn't me!"

Then:

"OK, I drove her to the boat, and took her
home before 8:00PM. I don't care what my brother said."

(Just for the record his brother and sister-in-law live right nextdoor to where
the boat is parked inside a boathouse).

"I don't remember who she was."

"We didn't do anything. I took her home by
8:00PM.
"You need psychiatric help."

"Your messed up in the head. Get some
psychiatric help."

His response to why he hasn't had anything to do with me in bed for the past two weeks:

"You're always on the blanking computer. You
know how angry it makes me, but your selfish
and you just keep right on doing it. If you
want us to have sex, GET OFF THE COMPUTER."

In response to my questioning why he is coming home so late from work lately:

"I don't have to answer to you. Just knock off your blanking insecurity."

NOW WHY ON EARTH WOULD I HAVE ANY REASON TO
BE INSECURE WITH SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSON?

posted September 15, 1999 02:01 PM         

"You have a serious issue with trust. It's all because your first wife cheated on you. Stop bringing the emotional baggage from your first marriage into this relationship. I am not having an affair and I am not lying to you."

Pretty convincing, eh? Especially when said with a straight face in a tone of utmost sincerety. And, in fact, for a long time responses like this made me doubt my suspicions, until I finally found real evidence that didn't allow me to doubt any more. I still have to shake myself when she talks like this though, and remind myself that she's lying. No wonder our couples counselor believes her too. So I get stuck with the rap for not trusting. And, unfortuantely, my evidence of her infidelity isn't the kind that would hold up in court (or a counseling session) but it's been enough to convince me.

posted September 16, 1999 02:29 AM         

"Your jealousy made it necessary for me to talk to someone behind your back, and it just escalated from there".

or

"You're so hard to talk to that I had to find someone else to listen".

and

"I didn't want to hurt you, but I had no choice."

posted September 16, 1999 05:47 AM         

I'm not sure anything he says anymore is true, because it feels as if he lied about everything.....Tried to make me think IT was all in my head, made me feel guilty for questioning him and his committment.

Two statements come to mind....

The first, spoken whenever there was a crying child (maybe 2 or 3 yrs old) in a public place he always said"
"Gosh, I'm glad those days are over, I'd never do that again!"
Our children are 13 & 18, the OW child, who he spent ALOT of time playing daddy to, was a toddler)

The second, said often, in conversations about us and our future and our family:
"We're stuck with each other, no one else could put up with either of us"
Well, he had obvoiusly found someone else to "put up with him" so he must have meant, no one besides him could put up with me????

Anyway, I now question eveything, if he says "It's raining outside" I sneak a peak to besure it's true!

posted September 16, 1999 08:00 AM         

2) Fine, I'll stay with you for the sake of the kids

3) I'm not calling anyone from the car phone, but if you open my mail it's a Federal Offense.

4) If you hadn't neglected me, I wouldn't have been on the computer. I wasn't looking for her she just happend.

5) I want to be happy, I deserve to be happy.

6) How do I know that you trying to save our marriage isn't just temporary?

posted September 16, 1999 08:22 AM         

1. That wasn't her car at my office, there are lots of red honda's around like that.(Still hate the sight of a red honda!)
2. What makes you say that???
3. Oh, she called the office on accident, she wanted to call you at home but mis-dialed! (when he mentioned something she had told him about us getting together as a foursome!)
4. What do you think is going on? Would I be here if I was involved with her?
5. HONEST!!
Yes, I still have trouble trusting, will I ever pop out of it? Well, it took him so long to come clean I wonder sometimes. I know he's committed to us but for how long this time? Doesn't this all sound just toooooooooo familure?

------------------
Chick's

posted September 16, 1999 10:16 AM         

"Who were you with?"

"Nobody. I LIKE to spend time alone."

I had bought this time alone, space crap for quite awhile, but at this point I thought he was either insane or cheating again. I sort of preferred "insane".

AND he used this nearly exact alibi at the same function LAST YEAR! He was with her both years.

Remind me why I might want to save this marriage? GRRR.

posted September 16, 1999 03:44 PM         

"BUT, I WAS FAITHFUL for 6 years"