posted September 15, 1999 12:31 AM         

1. "You think I'm cheating? I thought we had a better relationship than that."

2. Well, I've been accused; I may as well do it.

3. I'd be like Clinton---lie, lie, lie. (I felt like he was thumbing his nose at me!)

4. I haven't had any problems having sex with you.

5. You aren't going any farther than 25 feet from the house.

6. You're out of your f***ing mind. You're crazier than hell.

I'm sure there are more things he's said that grate on my mind, but I'm too tired to think of them all.

posted September 15, 1999 12:43 AM         

When my wife told me of a girl friend of hers who was considering an affair.. I commented against it (hypocrite)

I laughed at all Jay Leno's jokes about Bill Clinton (We watch that together)

"No it is just random chat.. no one I know of ever chatted with before or will ever again."

All lies.. all part of a cover up of my unfaithful activities used to serve my own selfish emotional needs.
Never to hurt her.. only to pretect her from the pain and me from the embarrassment
and consequences of my actions.

It hurts to hurt the one you love

posted September 15, 1999 01:13 AM         

That phrase got to me in the previous post. Sorry off subject.

1. My pager's battery is dead.

2. No, I didnt' get your page. (Good thing one of the kids hadn't been hit by a car!)

3. No, I didn't go to that movie but I bought the sound track anyway.

4. I went to the beach alone but bought a new chair and bathing suit so I could sit alone. (Here's an extrovert talking!)

5. I went shopping for 10 hours today but came home with nothing. Why are you asking so many questions?

6. The boys say you stop at phone booths to make phone calls, how come?

7. It takes me 3 minutes to drive across the street to pick up cigarretes, how come it takes you 15.

8. Gee, how did we get these carnival cruise line matches in our suitcase when you were on a fishing trip with friends from work.

9. It's amazing how your gone with something for work or friends on the same night every week.

10. Now he says it must be my phone. (My advice, if your h lives at home, cell phones are a no no....

posted September 15, 1999 02:30 AM         

Later:

"No, I'm not talking to any girls online."

Later:

"She's just a friend, she depends on me, her lousy marriage is all we talk about."

Later still:

"Ok, she was in love with me and was bugging me to run off with her. I just felt sorry for her though."

And what I have never gotten:

"Ok, I was in love with her too."

posted September 15, 1999 06:20 AM         

But, now that I understand the dynamics of conflict avoidance, I know he cared, just didn't know how to show it.

posted September 15, 1999 06:56 AM         

1. Give me examples of what I did that makes you think that I'm having an affair.

2. She's only a friend. All we do is talk. I never touched her.

3. If I can guarantee you anything....I am not seeing anyone.

4. I will tell you until I am BLUE in the face.....

5. I didn't come home because I had to go away and think....I parked somewhere and slept in the car last night....

posted September 15, 1999 07:59 AM         

"Hey, I've already told you everything. Stop bugging me. Do you want me to make sh*t up for you??"

posted September 15, 1999 08:51 AM         

"Nothings going on...I swear on my daughter's life"....
"I care about her but not like you think i do"....
"it would be easier just to tell you what you want to hear"..
"this is no way to live"...
"when do you just give up and say enough is enough"...

all made me feel like a paranoid, nagging, insane person when in truth he was lying the whole time...

posted September 15, 1999 08:58 AM         

I should stay off this thread, I'm getting furious. I was just reminded of the worst one of all...

"Ok, everything you asked is true, I've been lying all this time and I really was in love with her, ok? Is that enough to satisfy you?"

Thirty seconds later:

"I just said that to shut you up. It's not true, but it's what you WANT to believe anyway, so whatever".

posted September 15, 1999 09:12 AM         

------------------
Kellie
Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

posted September 15, 1999 09:20 AM         

Awful, isn't it? I've taken to wearing a rubber band on my wrist and screaming "SNAP OUT OF IT" at myself, when the remembering gets too bad.

Right now it's 8 months after I caught him, and although he has done everything "right" I still don't trust him due to all the lies. He keeps telling me he is honest, but I guess what I don't believe is how someone could lie their life away and then turn "honest" so quickly.

So I've taken to this leap of faith thing, trying to force myself to trust him. It seems to help sometimes, and I only hope I'm right in the end. If not, I suppose I save myself the daily pain of wondering and worrying -- until if and when the day comes I find he's really been lying. If that makes sense!