posted February 23, 2000 01:46 PM            

50 Indicators of Infidelity.

1. A sudden upturn in their demeanor or outlook on life.
2. Constantly late.
3. More possessive toward wallet, pocket calendar or briefcase.
4. Comes home more often with alcohol on breath.
5. Starts talking about getting together with old friends they haven't seen in years.
6. Starts shopping for new clothes.
7. Starts taking a renewed interest in their appearance.
8. Starts keeping an overnight bag in their car or office, ostensibly for a workout or a game of tennis.
9. Orders dishes or new household items never ordered before.
10. Does not look at other women/men as much as they used to.
11. Starts working late and on holidays and weekends.
12. Express opinions on subjects that they never had an interest in.
13. Takes a new interest in anticipated schedule.
14. Encourages you to visit parents or friends alone.
15. They give you gifts that show a new level of taste or insight about the opposite sex.
16. Car is kept free of paraphernalia belonging to you or the kids.
17. Starts attending extended seminars or conventions.
18. Start using new words and phrases.
19. At odd hours they start remembering things they forgot to do at the office.
20. They suggest that you open up separate checking accounts.
21. Often forget to wear wedding ring.
22. Takes the dog for much longer walks.
23. Makes more phone calls late at night.
24. A marked change of attitude towards secretary, colleagues or friends.
25. Suddenly takes up new hobbies or friends that take them out of the house in the evenings and weekends.
26. They talk about a movie they've seen but you have not.
27. They insist on answering the phone.
28. They call out a different name in sleep.
29. Smell of a different soap from the brand at home and/or you smell freshly showered at 1.00am.
30. They care about how breath smells. New mints, gum, etc. found around house.
31. Uses pre-paid calling card/pager/cell phone for the first time ever.
32. Loses a lot of weight and seems proud of new body.
33. Saddest list item is: change in die-hard pro-life feelings on abortion.
34. Gut feeling. The biggest indicator of an affair is just feeling that it is so.
35. Juvenile behavior and music interests!!!
36. Uses more kid slang than the kids!!!!!
37. Knows all the new pop singers and has CD's.
38. When they lose stuff they accuses you of gettting into their "stuff"....
39. Uses the ATM way too much!
40. All of a sudden, their attitude about people who cheat changes, e.g., "we shouldn't judge because we don't know their whole story."
41."It wasn't a dinner date - it was just a way of saying thank you for carpooling"
42."I never lied about being married - she never asked me, so I just didn't bring it up"
43. Grocery shopping and other excuses to get out "alone."
44.The one difference is that my Wife wants our kids to like the other person because in the back of her head she thinks she will be with him. Very sickening. !!!!!!!!!!!
45. Carries toothpaste, toothbrush, mouthwash at all times.
46. When other person is co-worker, can't wait to get to work each day .
47. Becomes great friends with people going through divorce.
48. Defends other who are/have/will cheat(ed/ing).
49. Distances themselves from those with strong (any) moral values.
50. Gets "coded" pager messages at all times of the day and night

posted February 23, 2000 02:07 PM            

Attitudes toward Church, God and spirituality in general deteriorates.

posted February 23, 2000 02:35 PM            

------------------
Chick's
Bren

posted February 23, 2000 02:56 PM            

------------------
Chick's
Bren

posted February 23, 2000 03:20 PM            

Has strange id's in his instant messanger

Has a seperate email account you knew nothing about.

posted February 23, 2000 03:44 PM            

Stopping smoking for smokers would probably be a good sign also.

Reading books about sex, finding joy in life, romance novels. This from a woman who rearely reads for pleasure.

Absolutely HAD to go to gym every day. Sick kids, school functions, whatever, she still went to gym for her 2 hour workout daily. OM was "friend" from gym, of course.

Definitely changes in undergarment and dresing habits. Lots of new pushup bras. Wearing "thong" underwear and no underwear under panty hose. This from a woman who previously had an almost obsessive method for tucking her blouse into her underwear, pantyhose up over blouse with waistband rolled down, etc. Apparantly no panty lines became more critical than her previous comfort oriented undergarments.

Going out more frequently than previously. All of a sudden the girl's night out was once or twice a week vs. once every two weeks or so.

The biggest tip off I should have caught was the increase in babysitter use. Before the affair the only time we would use a babysitter was on a night when we went out with each other. During the affair in addition to encouraging me to have my own activities without her, there were many times when I would come home late after one of my nights out and find a babysitter with the kids. She just couldn't stand to stay home on a friday or saturday.

Coming home after a girl's night out hours after the bars had closed. (Say's they went out for breakfast).

Taking a shower and sleeping on the couch after coming home from a girl's night out. Because she was sweaty from dancing, smelled like smoke, and didn't want to disturb my sleep she said. I'm thinking she was sweaty from something else!

Going out on non-traditional nights, like a tuesday or wednesday vs. friday or saturday.

Looking back I can tell exactly what nights she was out with OM from the above signs.

Like chick says "You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!"

[This message has been edited by help me (edited May 16, 2000).]

posted February 23, 2000 04:40 PM            

I noticed my husband would write two checks for lunch, on the same day, but about 10 checks out of order....

posted February 23, 2000 06:28 PM            

Takes a $2,000 cash advance from a credit card to pay a lawyers retainer fee and forgets to mention it or hoped you wouldn't notice.

Moves out of the bedroom and stops wearing wedding ring.

Starts to use curse words more often and in casual conversations.

Starts to keep a detailed diary of both you and her time with the kids for the custody hearing.

Turns down romantic trips and dates consistently.

posted February 23, 2000 06:35 PM            

A marked increase in phone calls from "other sex friends" who previously never or rarely ever called -- and if they called, they called for YOU, not your spouse!

An increase in "social drinking"
...Or for that matter, drinking new "designer drinks"

Being on the outside of "inside jokes"

Being uninvited to events your spouse attends with "friends"

Expecting your kids to babysit themselves when previously they had been thought to be too young (since you cannot get home from work in time for things like "girls night out").

...Just a few for thought.

cynically yours,

posted February 23, 2000 08:34 PM            

Stops saying "I love you" or even "I love you too"

Becomes VERY critical of you

posted February 23, 2000 10:31 PM            

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di

posted February 23, 2000 10:36 PM            

* Criticizes you in public.

* For her everything is bright one day, then the next day she acts as if the entire world were her enemy.

* Says nobody is totally honest.

* Insists that life offers no guarantees, that it is better to live the here and now.

* Some days she moves out of a room when you walk in. Some other days she seems to follow you everywhere.

ALEX

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Live fully and always learn.