posted September 16, 2000 01:41 PM            

Both 30

Betrayed

8 years married

6 mo known spouse before marriage

discovery of A May 2000
discovery of 4 years of prostitutes, swing clubs, massages, exotic dancers Sept 14 2000

3 months total length of the affair

Both EA&PA

1 EA/PA, lots of one nighters

Currently in: Plan A

Living together

OP is: divorced(or about to)

OP is: met in bar

Has divorce been: discussed by both

Following principles of: MB

1 week on the Marriage Builders forums

2 children of the marriage 7 boy, 2 1/2 girl

In counseling? WS alone, and both together

On medication/anti-depressants? WS - trazodone BS something soon

Alcoholism involved? Maybe, WS is ACOA

Has there been STD as a result of affair? Yes

posted September 16, 2000 07:56 PM            

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Scared and lonely

posted September 22, 2000 08:09 AM            

1. Male
2. I’m 33, W 31
3. Betrayed
4. 7
5. 3
6. Almost 2
7. About 6
8. Both EA&PA
9. 1
10. Plan A
11. Living Together
12. OP is divorced (wife had affair and left him two years ago)
13. Friend
14. Only mentioned in passing
15. MB (Wife not involved)
16. Two weeks

posted September 22, 2000 12:46 PM            

1. Female
2. My age 41/ H is 42
3. Betrayed
4. Married 15 years
5. Knew each other for 6 years before marriage.
6. 1 month since discovery
7. not sure about total length of A, but approx. 2 years.
8. Emotional Affair, at least as far as I know right now.
9. 1 A
10. Currently in Plan A without much luck!
11. Living together
12. OW is divorced, one child from former marriage.
13. OW was co-worker, both have left job
14. No discussion of divorce, H says it's the last thing he wants.
15. Trying to follow principles of MB, and God.
16. Began reading MB with 48 hours of discovery.

Personal

posted September 25, 2000 06:50 PM            

Personal
1) No children
2) We went to counseling a few times together and I continued by myself for awhile. Currently, neither of us is in counseling and he is not interested in going.
3) St. John's Wort for first two months after D-day
4) Too young for a mid-life crisis. Could he be having an almost-30 crisis?
5) No alcoholism, but weed is a problem
6) I got tested and I am clean.
7) When we were married, there was a small degree of domestic violence. Hasn't been a problem between us since 1998.
8) No suicide attempts
9) No lesbian/gay issues

We are currently engaged and planning to get remarried within the next year.
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Jennidy

[This message has been edited by Jennidy (edited September 25, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Jennidy (edited January 09, 2001).]

posted September 27, 2000 04:44 PM            

Your Age-24 and Spouse's Age-33

Betrayed/
3 years married

4 years have known spouse before marriage

13 months since "discovery"/Pre-discovery

4? months total length of the affair

Both EA&PA

1 of Affairs (approximate)

Currently in: Plan A

Living together

married (3 kids)

OW IS a friend (former lover - since before me many years before me)

Has divorce been: discussed/requested(by Husband)

Following principles of: MB
3 months on the Marriage Builders forums

Very personal… Very optional…
(no need to respond to these unless you think you want to/can help someone)

2 step children daughters 7 and 12

Who has physical custody? their mothers (not us)

In counseling? with Harley's/with Other…and…Alone/with Spouse- I am in counseling with Jennifer Just started a couple weeks ago

On medication/anti-depressants?… What kind? No medication

Mid-Life Crisis involved????
Alcoholism involved? H and I met at AA neither of us has gone back to drinking yet THANK GOD

Has there been STD as a result of affair?no

Abuse? emotional YES

Suicide attempted? H seems to be close to it but not yet

Lesbian/Gay issues?no

posted October 03, 2000 09:17 AM            

Betrayed with no smoking gun or confession.

Married for 4 years, together for 6 .

3 weeks since discovery of 1 affair, physical only I believe.

Currently in no plan.

Living together.

OP is my best friend of 9 years who is currently going through a divorce. She was his co-worker at the time.

My H almost constantly brings up divorce.

Not currently following any principles.

First day on Marriage Builders.

We have two children together, boy 3yrs and girl 7mo.s living w/both of us. Two children from <<<< relationships, last yr we lost costody of both to the other parent, my daughter age 13yrs and his son age 7yrs.

Neither of us are in counseling or on anti-depressants.

Possible mild alcoholism and mid-life crisis.
Possible STD's (to afraid to find out).

Much mental abuse, escalate to physical after discovery.

I am a five year survivor of suicide thanks to my mother's successful attempt.

posted October 03, 2000 01:42 PM            

Discovered email from Other questioning why did W want to end the relationship? (W printed it out-got stuck in printer queue-go figure). Emergency therapy (we each in our own), first week torment. Still roller-coaster, but better, not the overwhelming nausea & dizziness. She and I love each other very much, working hard to heal and give each other emotional needs. First time in our marriage I've ever had certain em needs met. Feels very good to. We are hopeful. Even had lovemaking (best I remember) immersed. Like a honeymoon. What scares me is how to heal and trust and provide em needs in the long term, God willing.

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Thronx - one of the statistics....
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posted October 04, 2000 05:28 AM            

1. Male

2. 31, W 25

3. Betrayed

4. 3yrs

5. 2yrs

6. 18 Mon

7. 4 Mon PA

8. PA/EA/IA

9. 2 PA, ? EA, ? IA

10. Recovery

11. Living together

12. OP were single

13. 1 Co-worker, 1 customer

14. Divorce was contemplated, papers were picked up but never signed.

15. Principles as a guideline, but we've mostly freelanced it.

16. myself 17 Mon, W 12 Mon?

Part II

1. 1 - 2 month old boy

2. Joint (we're together)

3. Some initial worry but no

4. Yes, joint and W individual

5. Was on Effexor when PA's occured stopped 9 mon ago.

6. No

7. No

8. W tested, all clear

9. No

10. No

11. No

12. Still some issues, but things are looking good

Jason

posted October 07, 2000 05:54 AM            

We are currently living together,
and we are both struggling with
trying to make our marriage work
I'm not sure what plan we're
working, I'm just trying to show
her that I love her, and that I
will never be the cause of her
unhappiness again.
Her decision is much more
complicated. She is trying to think
of the welfare of everyone
involved, especially the children.
Add that to the gut-wrenching
emotional turmoil she is in, I
think she has a near impossible
task. Even so, she is determined to
do what is right.
I love her with all my heart, and
I pray that we will not just
survive this, but that our marriage
will be stronger an happier than
ever!

The best to all of you,

Lynton

-

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posted October 07, 2000 11:15 PM            

Just adding. 5'10" blue eyes, ash blonde hair
weighed 224 in april/2000 lost 20 lbs for health reasons. wife asked to separate, lost 30 more. was down to 173 lbs and worked to put weight back on,looked too thin. now 185

[This message has been edited by Daniel (edited October 07, 2000).]