posted April 18, 2001 10:49 AM            

Your Age and Spouse's Age: I'm 30; H is 30

Betrayed/Betrayer(Wayward)/OP (or any combination): I'm the betrayed

## years married: 3

## years have known spouse before marriage: 7
## months since "discovery": I found out March 13, 2001 - 4 weeks ago

## months total length of the - Not sure.... I think 3 months

Emotional Affair/ Physical Affair / Both: Both

## of Affairs (approximate): 1when we were engagaed, we separated, engaged again and married and now this so 2

Currently in: Plan A / Plan B / No Plan / Recovery /Something else AND for how # months: WHO KNOWS... been in therapy since I found out March 13th and he started the next week

Living together / Living separate(# of months, w/ or w/out OP) / Other arrangements: LIVING TOGETHER.

OP is: married/divorced(or about to)/separated/single: No idea

OP is: co-worker/a friend/a relative/from Internet/Other: someone he met at a bar

Has divorce been: discussed/requested(by whom)/filed(by whom)/completed(how long ago): hasn't been discussed

Following principles of: MB/Divorce Busters/Other/None yet: just reading and trying to get through each day

## months on the Marriage Builders forums: 1st month

## children of the marriage (ages): 0 - we were going to start trying in May but not now

Who has physical custody? N/A

Are there Other Children(OCs) involved (pregancy wrt to wayward)? Not that I know of

In counseling? with Harley's/with Other?and?Alone/with Spouse: WE ARE BOTH GOING TO SAME COUNSELOR INDIVIDUALLY EACH WEEK.

On medication/anti-depressants?? What kind?: I need some but don't know how to get it

Mid-Life Crisis involved?: Who knows.... he turned 30 last week and said this was affecting him

Alcoholism involved? No

Has there been STD as a result of affair? Not that I know of but I haven't slept with him since this happened

Abuse? No

Suicide attempted? No

posted April 18, 2001 11:02 AM            

Very personal
1. 2 children (1 and 4 years old)
2. both
3. No OC
4. MC for 3 months; now starting IC
5. both on anti-deps
6. MLC for H
lots of other info in posts

posted May 15, 2001 12:36 PM            

Very personal... very optional

# children of the marriage: 3 boys
Who has physical custody? we both do.
Are there Other Children(OCs) involved (pregancy wrt to wayward)? God, I hope not!
In counseling? Start May 22
On medication/anti-depressants? No
Mid-Life Crisis involved? I really think so. He keeps talking about all that he's not able to do. That he'd be better for everyone independent.
Alcoholism involved? No
Has there been STD as a result of affair? God, I pray not!Abuse? No
Suicide attempted? No
Lesbian/Gay issues? No
Anything Else?it's completely up to you?

------------------
See each day as a new beginning!

posted May 19, 2001 01:55 AM            

1. I am female.
2. I'm 26 and hubby is 23. (both birthdays coming up)
3. I am the betrayed spouse.
4. We've been married 2 years now.
5. Hah...Brief courtship of one month.
6. It's been one month since I discovered the affair but I suspected an affair during the four months prior to D-day.
7. Gee...the affair lasted at least five months but possibly more.
8. The affair was both an emotional and a physical affair.
9. This is my husband's only affair, but he's cheated on most GF's in the past.
10. Was in Plan A, moved to Plan B, and returning again to Plan A now that hubby is willing to negotiate.
11. Seperated at present for almost three weeks but preparing for return to living together.
12. OP is married, for convenience, and planning divorce.
13. OP is hubby's ex-GF.
14. Divorce was initially requested by hubby, who's now changed his mind.
15. Following principles of MB right now.
16. Just recently discovered the forums.

Personal:

posted May 25, 2001 10:06 PM            

Female
I'm 44 and hubby is 45
Betrayed beyond a shadow of a doubt....grrrrrrr
Married 24+ years
Were dating 3+ years prior to marriage
PD was five years ago and actual D was two week ago....ACK!
Affair lasted four years or more
Emotional and Physical as well as BRAINWASHING affair
One (as long as you don't include the threesome he had with
OW and some other "ho")
Plan A
Living separate (he's incarcerated in another state)
OP is divorced (2X)
OP is co-addict
Divorce is not wanted by either spouse
MB....beginners
I'm a newbie to MB.....he has no access to Internet
Two teenage children/ one girl/ one boy
Children living with me, their mother
OC --- GOD FORBID
No counseling......but agreed to by both spouses
Both on antidepressants
Perhaps the hubby had a mid-life crisis
No
Not that I'm aware of......he was tested for AIDS prior
to incarceration with negative results
Emotional abuse on H's part
Yes...H has contemplated this exit
No.......H had two women including the OW at one time

Never did I think that I'd be posting such information for the public's consumption. Little did I know that I'd need such cleansing........

posted May 25, 2001 10:39 PM            

My age (51), Spouse's Age (46)

Betrayed

Married 9 months

Knew spouse 2 years before marriage

Discovery was March 22, 2001

Husband has 10 affairs that I know of with women he met on the internet over the 2 1/2 years we were engaged and then married. The affairs lasted from 2 years to just a few months each. They were a mix of cybersex/phonesex/and in person. He also had very close friendships with about another 10 women on the internet.

We are in recovery as husband was in the process ending all the affairs when I found out. As soon as I found out he stopped contact with all women he'd met on the internet.

Living together

OW were divorced/separated/married - a good mix.

OWemen were from Internet

We are not discussing a divorce. Trying to work things out.

Following principles of MB

one month in the Marriage Builders forums

Very personal… Very optional…
(no need to respond to these unless you think you want to/can help someone)

2 children from his previous marriage (Girl 11, Boy 13)
1 child from my previous marriage (Boy 12)

Husband has custody of his children
I have custody of my son

We are each in counseling separately

On medication/anti-depressants-yes

Mid-Life Crisis involved - who knows

Alcoholism involved - no

Has there been STD as a result of affair - don't think so. Will not know unti second set of test are done in a year

Abuse Involved? - No

Suicide attempted? - No

Lesbian/Gay issues? - No

posted May 29, 2001 09:00 AM            

32 and 35

Betrayed

10 years married

5 years have known spouse before marriage

9 months since "discovery"/Pre-discovery

18 months total length of the affair

Both EA&PA

## of Affairs 1 long term, 20 + prostitutes/one night stands

Currently in: Plan A

Something else AND for how 9 months

Living together

OP is: married

OP is: co-worker

Has divorce been: discussed/requested by me

Following principles of: MB

1 months on the Marriage Builders forums

Very personal… Very optional…
(no need to respond to these unless you think you want to/can help someone)

2 children of the marriage (ages)4/5

Who has physical custody? joint

Are there Other Children(OCs) involved (pregancy wrt to wayward)? no

In counseling? Alone/with Spouse

On medication/anti-depressants?… What kind? Serzone, Sonato, Ativan,

Mid-Life Crisis involved? NOPE

Alcoholism involved? YEP

Has there been STD as a result of affair? So far, no.

Abuse? Only aftre D-Day

Suicide attempted? NO

Lesbian/Gay issues? YEP...fantasy only

posted May 31, 2001 04:08 PM            

optional
1. no children
2. n/a
3. n/a
4. went to counselor once by myself, he has seen our pastor once by himself and we have seen our pastor once together he is refusing to see a counselor because he claims there is nothing wrong with him
5. no meds
6. no mid life
7. we both stopped drinking for personal and spiritual reasons about 2 years ago but he was drinking occasionally during affair
8. we have herpes from #1
9. no abuse
10. no suicide attempted
11. no lesbian/gay issues
12. second affair started 3 months after we got married he was trying to "help" her with some issues she had by telling her about God - first affair supposedly was physical before we met but not after we started seeing each other until he started to feel bad about #2 and slept with #1 again REVISION:just found out #1 has been in the picture for quite some time. Stopped when we got engaged April 1999 then started up again in February 2001 because he figured he had messed up anyway with #2???????
[This message has been edited by kelley1 (edited June 01, 2001).]

posted June 22, 2001 02:24 PM            

2...19 &17 children of the marriage (ages)
Who has physical custody? we
Are there Other Children(OCs) involved (pregancy wrt to wayward)? no
In counseling?have been marriage counselors
On medication/anti-depressants?… no What kind?
Mid-Life Crisis involved? no
Alcoholism involved? no
Has there been STD as a result of affair? no
Abuse? no
Suicide attempted? thought about by w
Lesbian/Gay issues? no

First two affairs were with men of different race, third was with a preacher who was giving "good" advice on the internet. We are recovering nicely but when I mentioned some of the basic principles of this web site she got mad, especially the one of radical honesty. So maybe there is more that I don't know about. We were counselors at a large church in the south for 6 years....2 years later she had her first one!! So much for that. I still, even after 2 years have to include myself in recovery....It takes time, so be patient.

[This message has been edited by aeroman (edited June 22, 2001).]