posted February 16, 2000 09:21 PM            

Betrayed/
10 years married

7 years have known spouse before marriage

6 months since "discovery"/Pre-discovery

## months total length of the affair unknown

Unknown

## of Affairs (1)

Currently in: Plan A 3mo

Living together /
OP is single
OP is: co-worker
Has divorce been: discussed/ Following principles of: MB/
## months on the Marriage builders ,3 mo

posted February 16, 2000 10:42 PM            

Part 2

1. Two children ages 24 and 21 have two grandchildren 4 and 8 months. (H hasn't seen the youngest since he was 1 month old)

2. NA

3. OW has three children her H has the children Ow had an abortion in June. H was the father I think. H thinks so anyway.

4. We went together for 4 months I have been in counseling ever since.

5. no med

6. Midlife crisis bigtime!!!!!!!!!!!

7-11 NO

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di

posted February 16, 2000 11:38 PM            

Very personal and very optional:

posted February 17, 2000 12:33 AM            

female
27 H is 29
I was the betrayer
married8 years together 9
we dated for a year before marriage
H has knowh for 5 years
A lasted two weeks Physical Affair
first Affair doing a long distance plain A for 7 months
seprated for 7 months
I dont know if there is a OP
H says he will file for divorce in march
doing everything I can to follow MB principles
been at MB for 8 months
2 children girl 2 and boy 6
they live with me

H will not go to councleing
on prozac

I have attempted Suicide twice

Lesa

------------------
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and
lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5
Take care and God Bless.

posted February 17, 2000 08:12 AM            

Three cildren, 12, 10, 6.
In counseling with wife.
I am on Prozac 20mg/day. Don't think I need it any more.
She was diagnosed bipolar disorder... on medication, since discovery.
No alcoholism, no STD, no gay, no suicide.

We are the "perfect couple". I am profesionally successful, she is gorgeous and fun loving. Really don't understand how this happened... I guess "s$#@ happens". (She had a difficult childhood.)

[This message has been edited by Cachos (edited February 17, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Cachos (edited February 17, 2000).]

posted February 17, 2000 01:17 PM            

Your Age (36) and Spouse's Age (34)

Betrayed

## years married (10)

## years have known spouse before marriage (2)

## months since "discovery" (2)

## months total length of the affair (best guess is 7 mo)

Emotional Affair/ Physical Affair / Both EA&PA / Unknown - Both (Physical might have stopped 2 months ago)

## of Affairs (approximate)- Prob only 1

Currently in: Plan A (2 mo)

Living together (so far)

OP is: married w/4 kids

OP is: a co-worker of mine that I introduced online (computer gaming) and in person to my wife last year

Has divorce been: discussed by her

Following principles of: MB and Divorce Busters and all others I can use

## months on the Marriage Builders forums (1)

Very personal… Very optional…
(no need to respond to these unless you think you want to/can help someone)

## children of the marriage (ages) (2)

Who has physical custody? Both

Are there Other Children(OCs) NA

In counseling with a couple different people for me

On medication/anti-depressants?… Wellbrutin SR

Mid-Life Crisis involved? Not sure

Alcoholism involved? I drank for 11 years (quit 3 months ago when wife said she was through with me after the holidays)

Has there been STD as a result of affair? No

Abuse? No

Suicide attempted? No

Lesbian/Gay issues? No

posted February 17, 2000 02:18 PM            

3 children 9,6 yo girls 2 yo boy
Cat has custody
no OC
I am in counseling alone now, hopefully together someday. Also went to Retrouvaille
I'm on Prozac. She has Xanax if she needs it, but don't think she has used it in over a year.
MLC, not sure
No addictions
no STD
No abuse
no suicide
no L/G issues

------------------
Allen

posted February 17, 2000 07:27 PM            

Very personal… Very optional…(no need to respond to these unless you think you want to/can help someone)

posted February 18, 2000 06:04 AM            

Betrayed## years married

2 years have known spouse before marriage

1 months since discovery

1 and 1/2 years total length of the first affair and 2 1/2 years second affair

Both EA&PA

2 of Affairs

No Plan

Living together

1st OW single.....2nd OW divorced

1 OW was barmaid in bar frequented by H 2nd OW worked in adjacent office

No divrce discussions

Following principles of: None yet

New on the Marriage Builders forums

3 children of the marriage 7yrs,4yrs,5months

all living together

OC to 1st OW

In counseling…with Spouse at Community Health Centre (Australia)

No meds.

Mid-Life Crisis involved? Posssibly

Alcoholism involved - NO

No STD tests yet..Just Got DNA test results

Hope I do this right!

Mifralsmum

posted February 18, 2000 03:50 PM            

Very personal… Very optional…

1. 2 kids, girls 9 & 3
2. n/a
3. n/a
4. I have suggested counseling and my wife
had a hissy fit and said no way.

My wife is one the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She is about 5'5", has blonde hair and eyes that are the color of the summer sky. She also has a chest which plastic surgeons have made millions trying to duplicate, and has recently begun to lose weight again. Looking at her is like standing outside a candy shop, but knowing that you cannot have any of the candy. I am completely committed to her, but unfortunately she would be the perfect wife for an impotent man.

I am about 5'10" and weigh about 225#. I know this sounds heavy, but my chest is 48" and my waist is 36", so I look about 195#.

posted February 19, 2000 11:10 AM            

Married 4 1/2yrs.
Knew spouse for 5yrs prior to Marriage

H found out about affair Jan. 98
One Night Stand(physical affair-Oct 97)
1 Affair

H has had 2 PA and 2 EA. (CUrrently in EA)

Living seperate: Since April 0f 99

No longer trying....we are civil and becoming friends again however.

Girl- 2yrs Boy- 5 months
I have custody
No other children involved
Not in counselling
No meds
No alcoholism or drugs involved
No Std's
No abuse
suicide(never could do it)

------------------
"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."

lady_divine77@yahoo.com

[This message has been edited by jamie-lee (edited January 16, 2001).]

posted February 20, 2000 06:41 PM            

Personal info
5'1/2"
97lbs
brown eyes
Auburn hair(naturally dark brown)

1.3 children (G-8yrs, B-4yrs, G-2yrs)
2.Custody not an issue
3.Ex-OW does not have children
4.Not in counseling
5.No medication
6.Mid-life crisis was involved
7.No alcoholism involved
8.No std's
9.Some verbal abuse and emotional abuse - H is in anger management counselling
10.I have not considered suicide but H had talked about it
11.No gay/lesbian issues

------------------
Love and Prayers
Nicole

posted February 23, 2000 07:44 AM            

No children of the marriage
No longer in counseling

We're recovering better than I'd ever thought possible.

------------------
/// Lone Star * ///

posted February 23, 2000 02:52 PM            

I am the betrayed.

We knew each other and dated five years before getting married, and have been married 4 and 1/2 years.

Nine months since discovery

I don't have any definites on the affair. My best guess is it started in October of 1998, with discovery in May 1999 and a couple withdrawal contacts until August 1999.

EA

Currently in recovery

Still living together. No seperation was ever needed.

OW is single and from the internet. Almost ten years younger than my husband.

Husband sort of requested a divorce. He said he didn't love me anymore. Wanted to be friends, but didn't want to be husband and wife.

Principles followed thus far are rather eclectic. A blend of MB, Harville Hendrix, and Gray (Men are from mars/Women are from Venus)

Been on the forum 2 months.

No children.

I'm in intermittant counseling. No meds

posted February 23, 2000 03:21 PM            

1. 1 child (6yrs)previous marriage
2. I have custody
3. No other children involved
4. I am in counseling alone...spouse will not attend with me or work on marriage
5. No meds
6. Seems like a mid-life crisis but he is only 26.
7. No alcoholism
8. No STD
9. No abuse unless emotional counts
10. No suicide attempts
11. No Gay/Lesbian issues
12. Very confused because I am not completely sure why he left. There is not anything supposedly going on with another woman or anything of the sort. (I may be just plain stupid here!)

I am heart broken! He doesn't even want to try. The worst part is that I can't understand because it isn't logical. He cheated on me!!! He is playing the victim big time by telling everybody my expectations of him were too high. You know, things like honesty, trust, love, etc...

I want things to work out...H wants us to go our separate ways. I have decided to give in to his wishes and NOT pursue this anymore. I want to come out of this with a little dignity. I have basically been a doormat for a month!!