posted February 17, 2000 07:48 PM            

jnvc,
I don't understand the caution about not making eye contact. I don't remember reading that anywhere. I know it can be very hard to take the necessary steps to avoid contact, but for the sake of your marriage it is important to try....even if it means making changes in your children's play partners, routine, or even where you live and go to school. In the long run, you do your children a favor by doing whatever is necessary to ensure that your marriage is healed and grows stronger.

An apology from the om is nice....I got one from the ow too. But the fact is that any contact with the op is a reminder to both spouses of something that is very painful. Others may be better able than I was to live and move forward with that....I know that taking steps to avoid contact was part of our healing.

We all must find the best path to a healed and healthy marriage and that involves different things for each of us.

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"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31