posted March 28, 2001 02:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TheStudent:
galatea,
Well, I guess Sisyphus did kinda answer your question...

but no matter...it seems that the depth of his emotions can be measured with one digit (meaning, the first digit on his finger and one numerical digit)... and that if it "doesn't work out", well, I guess $15 bucks isn't too much to cough up to find a new GF on that website.

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Geez Student... that last comment was pretty harsh... but I do agree that Sisyphus did "kinda" answer the question... lots of words, anyway...

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THE MOST TELLING COMMENT OF HIS WAS? The last one:

quote:

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It's fine to worry about us, but there are others here with crises far more pressing...

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Truer words and all that... there are others here who need help WAAAAY more... but dammit Sis, you sure can spin a yarn and cause a debate!!

I have been called a Drama Queen around here... and I think Sis may be the King... and I mean that in the most platonic way, of course!

------------------
~Sheryl
(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)

Life is difficult.
The Road Less Traveled
~M. Scott Peck

posted March 28, 2001 02:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by new_beginning:
[BTsk, tsk, Student... that last comment was pretty harsh... [/B]

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posted March 28, 2001 03:00 PM            

Sis, I stand by my words... you sure can write... and I really still don't know what you're saying -- not exactly -- but hey, that isn't your problem.

Take care!

------------------
~Sheryl
(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)

posted March 28, 2001 07:46 PM            

Oh, I see you want to play

"I think TS has taken her trepidation to re-enter the world of romantic relationships and recast it as adherence to some virtuous ideal. There's no anger here for her comments. In fact, she has my pity..."

Hmm. virtuous ideal. You are exactly correct. I do consider myself to be virtuous for not sucking someone else dry right now, using them to prop up my ego for whatever period I require to get my life back on track, and then discarding them when they've served their purpose. However, both you and your GF seem to share the same viewpoints regarding the function of your relationship so it is a victimless "crime", really.

You aren't making any huge leap of faith. So what? You found some chick on the internet for $15 who is willing to play footsie while you get your junk together. BIG DEAL. If you are so brave, why don't you get married. And this time, do it without a pre-nup. Now THAT is what I'd consider courageous (and virtuous).

NB,

posted March 28, 2001 08:55 PM            

Sisyphus lives for this stuff ,I think...

posted March 29, 2001 07:46 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by TheStudent:
You aren't making any huge leap of faith. So what? You found some chick on the internet for $15 who is willing to play footsie while you get your junk together. BIG DEAL. If you are so brave, why don't you get married. And this time, do it without a pre-nup. Now THAT is what I'd consider courageous (and virtuous).

---

Well, that's where I'm headed, no question about it.

And last time, the pre-nup was neither my idea nor XW's. We were resistant to it, and even considered eloping to avoid it. However, that would have caused XFIL untold grief as he would have had to scramble to protect what was "his" and not XW's (despite the fact it was in her name). Or he could have just punitively left us with tax liability and lacking the cash to cover it. Either way, it would have been a bad scene.

XFIL had (for weasely tax and liability reasons) put about a half dozen big apartment complexes and a mini-storage into a partnership where XW was nominally one of the limited (read: powerless) partners, and XFIL (or one of his companies) was the general (read: in charge) partner. These kids never saw a dime directly from them, except a check from XFIL every year to cover their tax liability when they got K-1s for the "phantom" income that was really kept by XFIL. I shudder to think whether the siblings could be deemed to really have been "gifting" those profits back to XFIL, and thus liable for gift tax ... and having signed joint returns with XW all those years, I sure couldn't use innocent spouse status as a defense because I understood it better than any of them (I can't remember whether one spouse is on the hook for another spouse's gift tax--I'd have to look at the code & regs). But I digress.

At this stage of the game, neither GF nor I have accumulated enough of anything to really worry about doing a pre-nup. There are no sponging X's or kids from prior marriages. There frankly isn't much reason for one.

posted March 29, 2001 08:42 AM            

That XFIL does sound pretty scary. I guess you know this time that you are not just marrying the person...you are marrying their family as well.

My XFIL's favorite saying was "acquire wealth, then virtue". So, maybe it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that his son pretty much followed along.

Ok. Carry on....

Besides, if *I* dated, I wouldn't have time to:
a) win that Nobel Prize I've had my eye on
b) teach my border collie how to play frisbee
c) teach my aussie/lab how to "shake" with either paw and "dance" like one of those russian circus bears
d) work out so I can keep my Demi Moore bod

and last but not least...

posted March 29, 2001 08:50 AM            

Sorry about the "pity" comment (just picture me delivering that line as Ian Holm's gook-covered severed robot head in Alien--and remember what happened to him for saying that!). I don't think you're pitiable, although sometimes I do wonder a bit whether the your romantic muscles haven't atrophied in that cast you've been keeping them in.

posted March 29, 2001 09:41 AM            

I think I get it now, and to be honest, am a bit jealous (as are a number of us here if we really look deep). You seem to have found someone with whom you can both heal and grow with. Lucky you! And all for $15? Talk about your cheap date.

As for where it's heading with your GF, congrats? Maybe, hopefully you are not jumping into something too soon, but in reading your posts, you seem to have learned alot and are less likely to make the same mistakes as before. Probably different ones, but at least you have the *tools* to deal with it.

Maybe you'll invite us all to the ceremony?

NB-
I'm still new here, I think you hit it, Sis is the King of the Drama! At least the weaving of tales to draw us all in!

Sis - ever think of changing careers?

Galetea

posted March 29, 2001 09:47 AM            

ALL HAIL THE KING OF DRAMA

{deep curtsy}

Hey Sis,

Whatever floats your boat, man. I'd say, like Student and Galetea said, you got quite the bargain for $15...

It (and I) am finished!

posted March 29, 2001 10:28 AM            

It just occurred to me that you should be getting a kickback from that site!

Good luck to you Sis, this has been most enlightening and enjoyable.

Let us know when you "pop" the question!

Until then -
Best to you!

Galatea

posted March 29, 2001 03:26 PM            

"...do wonder a bit whether the your romantic muscles haven't atrophied in that cast you've been keeping them in."

Oh, and what, pray tell, are the romantic muscles you are referring to?

If you are talking about some other skill...well, as I've discussed in previous debates, communication skills can be practiced with anyone as long as you aren't a hermit. It takes NO skill to be romantically involved. It takes GREAT skill to be a loving, committed person, which are the only qualifications I consider necessary to maintain a relationship of ANY kind.

I find I'm alot more "loving" outside of your standard romantic relationship. Ya gotta ask yourself, why are so many people who are considered spiritual also celibate? Do you think they don't have those "feelings" for the opposite sex occasionally? Maybe some don't, who knows. I know that those "feelings" are not what I live for. Plus, by tying myself to one person in a romantic way, for moral reasons and also just plain lack of energy/time, I would exclude myself from interacting at a deeper level with other people...especially men.