posted October 19, 2000 09:50 PM            

The Harley Brownie Point System

Simple Duties:
You make the bed..............................................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
You throw the bedspead over your lit cigar....................-100

You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
Handtowel...............-15
Draperies...............-25

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
in the snow...................................................+8
but return with beer..........................................-5
and no liners.................................................-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night..................... 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ +1
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
You pummel it with a six iron.................................+10
It's her cat..................................................-40

Social Engagements:
Party:
You stay by her side the entire party......................... 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a
college drinking buddy..-2
Named Tiffany.................................................-4
Tiffany is a dancer...........................................-6
With breast implants..........................................-18

Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner.................................... 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar..........+1
Okay, it is a sports bar......................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night................................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
Painted the colors of your favorite team...... -10

A Night Out With the Boys:
Go with a pal.................................................-5
The pal is happily married....................................-4
Or frighteningly single.......................................-7
And he drives a Mustang.......................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED).................-15

A Night Out:
You take her to a movie.......................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes.............................+4
You take her to a movie you hate..............................+6
You take her to a movie you like..............................-2
It's called Death Cop 3........................................-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans........................-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.........-15

Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable pot belly............................-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly and exercise to get rid of
it...................+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and
baggy Hawaiian shirts............................... -30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."...............-800

The Big Question:
She asks, "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding....................................-10
You reply, "Where?"...........................................-35
Any other response............................................-20

Communication:
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression................. 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes................................+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the
TV..+100
She realizes this is because you have fallen
asleep............-200

You buy a family pet.........+10
The kids don't like it........0
The kids are afraid of it....-10
It's a chimp.................-50
who smokes cigars.............-75
It kills her cat.............-100
You and the chimp move into an apartment together...................-200

posted October 19, 2000 09:56 PM            

At least it took my mind off the pain temporarily! Thanks a lot, Mike. Good to see you back.

Love,

posted October 20, 2000 07:20 AM            

Thanks for the Friday push! Humor is a powerful emotion!

posted October 20, 2000 10:39 AM            

Here's one more category of points:

"Well, that's YOUR problem" -500
"I DO NOT do that" -200
"Did I do that?" 0
"I'm sorry I did that" +100
"You do not deserve to be treated that way. Will you please forgive me" +1000 and a free pass into Disney World.

Haha.

It's good to hear from you Mike!

CJ

posted October 20, 2000 07:52 PM            

The Harley Brownie point System For Women

Simple Duties:

You mow the lawn..........+10
You mow the lawn and trim the edges, but run over the cord....................0
You don't notice, and kick the cord into the pool.....................-20
He's in it..................-50

YOu take out the garbage...............+5
But forget to recycle....................0
Except for the box of magazines stashed under the bed........................-10
That had his favorite Pamela Anderson centrefold pic......................-100

You change the oil on the car........+15
And fill up the washer fluid.........+25
He drives to work, and notices a funny smell from under the hood..................-5
And there's oil on the windshield.......-25
Plus, the tank is on empty..............-50

Social Engagements:

You make plans for an evening out.......+10
You take him to the ballet...............-10
And invite your mom because she wanted to come......................................-20
You lied to him and told him you were going to the game..............................-40

You go out for a night with the girls.....-5
But leave him a case of beer and a movie..+10
It's "Beaches"...........................-20
and you didn't really go out with "the girls"....................-50
His name is Armando.................-200

In the Bedroom:

He puts on a g-string...................+15
But it's backwards.......................-5
You start laughing hilariously...........-20
And grab the polaroid camera to "capture" the moment................-50
You show it to everyone at work.........-100

Communication:

You want to talk to him, so you tell him how you feel............................+10
You do it at his parents house..........-5
The game is on, and you are standing in front of the t.v......................-20
And talking about his "erection problem"......................-100

Your Physique:

You keep on a few "baby" pounds.......0
You go on a diet, and start to look a little better...........................+5
But gain it all back, and start wearing all his clothes.......................-10
You say" We should try to lose the weight together, this time."....................-20
You had the baby ten years ago...........-50

Your Domestic Abilities:

You clean the toilet, do the laundry and wash dishes every day.................+25
You clean the toilet, do the laundry, but insist on a dishwasher instead.........+5
You make a nice lasagna for dinner, with baked apple crisp for dessert..........+10
You tell him he is "the dishwasher"....-20

Ok, anyone have any other ideas to add on???
I have to get back to my evening! Have a great weekend, guys!

posted October 22, 2000 12:10 AM            

Thanks you two.