The Four Rules
for a Successful Marriage

The Rule of Care | The Rule of Protection | The Rule of Honesty
The Rule of Time

The Rule of Care:
Meet Your Spouse's Most Important Emotional Needs

You and your spouse fell in love with each other because you met some of each other's emotional needs, and the only way to stay in love is to keep meeting those needs. Even when the feeling of love begins to fade, or when it's gone entirely, it's not necessarily gone for good. It can be recovered whenever you both go back to being an expert at depositing love units. First, be sure you know what each other's needs are (complete the Emotional Needs Questionnaire). Then, learn to meet those needs in a way that is fulfilling to your spouse, and enjoyable for you, too.

It's likely that you and your spouse do not prioritize your needs in the the same order of importance. A highly important need for you may not be as important to your spouse. So to follow the Rule of Care, you must learn to become an expert at meeting needs whether or not they seem important to you.  Your spouse depends on you to meet those needs, and they are the best way for you to deposit love units.

If you could use some help with this rule, read His Needs,Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage.

The second rule for a successful marriage:
The Rule of Protection

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