In 1989, when His Needs, Her Needs became a best-seller, couples living outside of
Minnesota would fly to the Twin Cities to see me for marriage counseling. They would
stay for a week of intensive counseling, and then I would follow-up with
telephone counseling after they returned home.
This arrangement worked very well for those who could afford to make the trip, but it was expensive
when you consider the time off from work, and the expense for travel, hotel and meals. Some couples
spent over $3000 for the week they were here, not counting my counseling fee.
In the interest of economy, I began suggesting to couples
wanting to travel here for a week of face-to-face counseling that they consider telephone counseling instead. The intake interview and the diagnostic assessment were done by telephone, and questionnaires were delivered by fax. After a few couples tried it, we were all quite
surprised to discover that telephone counseling from start to finish worked just as well as face-to-face counseling. Before
long, I and many other counselors in my clinic had ever-increasing numbers of clients
that we counseled by telephone. By 1991, most of my counseling
was by telephone, and from 1993 on, all of it has been that way.
The advantages of telephone counseling over in-office face-to-face counseling are
startling. The primary advantage is that you can counsel with someone that is simply
not available in your area. Some communities have no trained marriage counselors, and
telephone counseling is the only way to get help. But even in large metropolitan areas,
it is sometimes difficult to find someone trained in a particular method that you trust.
The convenience and privacy of the telephone are also tremendous advantages. Getting
to and from a counseling office can sometimes take hours, and you never know who
you'll meet in the waiting room! Telephone counseling, on the other hand, is something
that does not even require a baby-sitter. Most of my clients are able to entertain their
children with a video while they are talking to me.
The idea that a counselor's physical presence is essential to counseling success is simply
not true. In fact, I've discovered that I can help people by telephone that I could
never have reached in person. They were either too embarrassed to come to an office,
or not motivated enough to make the trip. But by telephone they get all the help they
need with complete privacy and very little initial effort. And the results are dramatic.
Of course, rebuilding a marriage does takes effort. There are questionnaires to complete
to discover the weaknesses in marriage. And couples must discipline themselves to learn habits that meet each other's emotional needs and overcome habits that hurt each other. Couples have to stick to the
program until it's completed. But the counseling itself requires very little effort when
done by telephone.
If your marriage needs help, try our telephone counseling service. If you've been to
other counselors, you will be very pleased with the effectiveness and convenience. You will
also appreciate the warm and friendly way you are treated. We're here to help you
rebuild your marriage.