TABLE OF CONTENTS

Part 1: Negotiating for Compatibility

  1. Why Can't We Just Get Along?
    The Struggle for Compatibility in Marriage

  2. The Love Bank
    How Couples Fall In and Out of Love

  3. Meet Your Giver and Your Taker
    Why Marital Negotiation Is So Tough

  4. The Three States of Marriage
    How the Giver and Taker Can Mess Up Your Mind

  5. The Policy of Joint Agreement
    How to Be Thoughtful and Caring When You're Not

  6. It's Okay to Make a Deal
    How to Negotiate for Compatibility

Part 2: Learning to Protect

  1. Become a Jerk in Five Easy Lessons
    How Love Busters Destroy Compatibility

  2. Mine Sweeping
    How to Overcome Angry Outbursts

  3. I Want It Done Now!
    How to Overcome Selfish Demands

  4. Let Me Ridicule Your Shallow Opinions
    How to Overcome Disrespectful Judgments

Part 3: Learning to Care

  1. I Need You!
    What Are the Most Important Emotional Needs?

  2. Let's Get Real
    How False Assumptions Create Incompatibility

  3. If You Scratch My Back ...
    How to Get Your Spouse to Meet Your Most Important Emotional Needs

  4. Why Can't We Just Talk
    How to Meet the Emotional Need for Conversation

  5. Is It "Nobody Does It Better" or Is It "Never Gonna Get It"
    How to Meet the Emotional Need for Sexual Fulfillment

  6. When You Need Me, I'll Be There
    How to Meet the Emotional Need for Affection

  7. You'll Love the One You're With
    ow to Meet the Emotional Need for Recreational Companionship

  8. Give and Take Your Way to Compatibility
    How to Resolve Everyday Conflicts with the Policy of Joint Agreement

Appendixes

  1. Love Busters Questionnaire
  2. Emotional Needs Questionnaire
  3. Friends and Enemies of Good Conversation Inventory
  4. Strategy to Meet the Need of Conversation
  5. Friends and Enemies of Good Conversation Worksheet
  6. Sexual Experience Inventory
  7. Strategy to Create a Stage of Sexual Experience
  8. Sexual Experience Worksheet
  9. Sexual Fulfillment Worksheet
  10. Affection Inventory
  11. Strategy to Meet the Need of Affection
  12. Affection Worksheet
  13. Recreational Enjoyment Inventory
  14. Strategy to Meet the Need of Recreational Relational Companionship
  15. Recreational Companionship Worksheet

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