The Four Rules
for a Successful Marriage
The Rule of Time
When you meet each other's most important emotional needs, you become each other's source of greatest happiness. But if you are not careful, you can also become each other's source of greatest unhappiness. That's why the Rule of Protection is so important.
It's pointless to deposit love units if you withdraw them right away. So in addition to meeting important emotional needs, you must be sure to protect the Love Bank from withdrawals. And that's done by paying attention to how your everyday behavior can make each other unhappy. You and your spouse were born to be angry, disrespectful, demanding, annoying and dishonest. These are normal human traits that I call Love Busters because they destroy the feeling of love spouses have for each other. But if you promise to avoid being the cause of your spouse's unhappiness, you will do whatever it takes to overcome these destructive tendencies for your spouse's protection. By eliminating Love Busters, you will not only be protecting your spouse, but you will also be preserving your spouse's love for you. If you are having trouble identifying and getting rid of Love Busters, I suggest you read, Love Busters: Overcoming Habits That Destroy Romantic Love.
Almost everything you do affects each other. So it's very important
to know what that effect will be. The Policy of Joint Agreement (never
do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse) will help you remember how much your decisions effect each other and how you must consult with each other to be sure you avoid being the cause of
each other's unhappiness. By making mutually acceptable choices,
you will create a lifestyle that both of you will enjoy. Love
Habits That Destroy Romantic Love. explains why the Policy
of Joint Agreement is so important in marriage, and how you can use it
to resolve marital conflicts.
The Rule of Honesty