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The Recreational Enjoyment Inventory (REI)

It’s all to obvious that when you spend recreational time together, you have a great opportunity to deposit love units into each other's Love Banks. It simply makes good sense for couples to take every opportunity to share recreational experiences because it’s such an easy way to sustain the feeling of love.

But for some, especially men, recreation is not only an enjoyable diversion, but it also meets an important emotional need. It's something that often "keeps them going" For these people, recreational companionship is particularly satisfying. Those who share their favorite recreational activities with them build massive Love Bank accounts if they are of the opposite sex.

I encourage couples to spend most, if not all, of their recreational time together (see Why Should a Couple Plan to Be with Each Other When They Are the Happiest?). It"s one of the most efficient and effective ways to build the feeling of love. If your spouse listed recreational companionship as one of his or her top 5 emotional needs, they you have an even greater reason to follow my advice.

Most couples share favorite recreational activities during courtship. It’s an important reason that they fall in love. But after marriage a host of circumstances prevents these activities from being shared, and before long they find it easier to engage in recreational activities independently. Since they do not join each other anyway, they pick new recreational activities that the other spouse would not enjoy. Eventually, such couples realize that they've "drifted apart" and wonder why.

How do you get back on track after you find yourselves in this mess? If you do not enjoy your spouse’s favorite activity, love units are withdrawn from your Love Bank whenever you try to join him or her. Even if your spouse gains love for you while you make an effort to meet that need, you lose love for your spouse. Since I make it clear that you should not engage in any activity that makes either of you suffer (Policy of Joint Agreement), I suggest that you abandon incompatible activities and search for those that you both enjoy. Then you both deposit love units.

The Recreational Enjoyment Inventory is designed to help you discover these mutually enjoyable activities. One hundred twenty-two activities are listed, with space to add other favorites. You and your spouse are to rate all the activities for enjoyment. Only those activities with high ratings by both of you are to be considered for joint participation. Recreational activities that cannot be enjoyed together should be discontinued.

Please note: You will need Adobe® Acrobat® Reader installed on your computer to view the REI. The software program is FREE. Simply click on the "get Acrobat Reader" image below and begin the download process. Once the program is installed, come back to this page to view the REI.

Adobe Acrobat Reader free download

The Recreational Enjoyment Inventory

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