Forms and Questionnaires

The Emotional Needs Questionnaire (ENQ)

When your most important emotional needs are met by your spouse, he or she deposits the greatest possible number of love units into your Love Bank, and you experience a feeling of love toward your spouse. The same is true for your spouse. When you meet his or her most important emotional needs, your spouse experiences a feeling of love for you.

But you are the only one who can identify your most important emotional needs. Only you know what your spouse can do to give you the best feelings possible. So I've designed this questionnaire to help you communicate your needs to your spouse and help your spouse communicate his or her needs to you. Before you complete this questionnaire, read the description of each emotional need in my Basic Concepts. It might also be helpful to read His Needs, Her Needs, where they are each described in much greater detail.

When you and your spouse have each completed this questionnaire, you will have identified for each other your five most important emotional needs, and you will have ranked them according to the pleasure you receive when they are met. The needs ranked the highest deposit the most love units when they are met.

If you learn to meet your spouse's five most important emotional needs, and your spouse learns to meet yours, you will find each other irresistible.

The Emotional Needs Questionnaire (ENQ)
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The Emotional Needs Questionnaire - Editable (ENQ-E)
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